Thursday, March 3, 2011

My Heart

Having Ally was the best thing - without a doubt - that has ever happened to me. But something even more amazing has happened. My husband and his love for our child. Not that I expected anything less, but I had no idea how he was going to act with her before having her, even during my pregnancy. Those of you who know my husband, knows he is the shy, man of few words type. He told me he was excited during my pregnancy, but never really took initiative to learn about everything happening inside my body. It’s true what they say: A woman becomes a mother the moment she becomes pregnant; the man becomes a father when the baby is born. At least in my case it’s true.

We have been together since 1999. After 12 years together the romance has, like most, died down quite a bit. I’ve come to accept it. But seeing him with Ally makes my heart melt. He loves her so openly, so unconditionally. I feel like I have gotten all of that affection back even though it’s not towards me (most of the time). It’s like a new found love. And so I say, Ally has saved us. Not that we were in jeopardy of any kind before, but things are different now, better.

From the very beginning of our relationship, we have said that we only wanted one child. I was an only child and had a wonderful childhood (I know of some only-children who would strongly disagree however). I do not want to spoil her rotten. I DO want to give her everything she needs… And also things she wants. I want to send her to college; buy her first car. All of the things I had that meant so much to me, I want to give to her. We cannot afford more than one child. Let’s be honest here… we can’t even afford one child! But our mommy and daddy instincts are telling us differently. They are saying, “Hey! This Mommy and Daddy thing feels so amazing! Let’s do it again!”

So for now, it’s just the three of us. And I’m perfectly content with that. As for what the future holds? I do not know. And I kinda like it that way. <3

1 comment:

  1. How proud I am to have such a wonderfully expressive granddaughter, a caring, loving, strong and supportive grandson and the bestest, cutest and lovey-est great-granddaughter in the whole wide world. Tara, your observations are so astute and emotional. You bring tears to my eyes! I love you all! Very, very much!